Q: As women, many of us find we take care of family, work, the house, the dog, and everything and everyone else-and then have little energy left for our own self-care. You want to know: Is what you’re saying to yourself helping you or hurting you? A huge piece of resilience is what you say to yourself and changing it if what you’re saying isn’t helping. What I look for now is how can I grow through this difficulty and not just go through it.Īt the core of resilience is how you think. Then I came to a decision: I said, “I will walk through this fire but it will not consume me.” And, I decided that I would be better because of it. I was crying to my mom, and she said, “You’re 36! I hope your life’s not over!” When I went through a divorce 11 years ago, I thought my life was over. Understand the power of a decision to get through it.

What is the most important thing that women should know and do to cultivate the resilience that can help us in this moment?

Q: You have spent more than 15 years studying resilience. But if you’re fighting against what is, you can’t focus on what to do to minimize the negative impact. Obviously, things are harder for some people than others. One of my favorite mantras when dealing with something hard is “What is is.” Fighting against it just ends up draining more energy. But in many, there are opportunities and messages. And look for the opportunity in it for you. We need to take stock of what has changed in our relationships, parenting, job or business, and health.Īsking yourself, “What do I need right now?” is also a really important question. We expect ourselves to keep going in the same way as if nothing has changed. I think it is important to give yourself extra emotional space to deal with all of it.Īs women, we are hard on ourselves. Now with all of the social and racial unrest, it feels like: Oh, my goodness what is next? The emotional toll is very real. The pandemic was such an unexpected and shocking turn of events.

Q: After writing 13 personal development books, what insights have you found most helpful for navigating these extraordinarily challenging times-and still being able to move forward toward your goals?įirst and foremost, this is a real test of resilience. We’re expecting more attendees than ever this year! If you haven’t secured your ticket, learn more here. Valorie Burton will join Melinda Gates, Issa Rae and other amazing speakers at the Oct. You want to know: Is what you’re saying to yourself helping you or hurting you? A huge piece of resilience is what you say to yourself, and changing it if what you’re saying isn’t helping.”īurton, author of 13 books, including Successful Women Think Differently, and her forthcoming Let Go of the Guilt, spoke with us recently about how successful women can think about these times. “That’s the thing we can control the most. “At the core of resilience is how you think,” says author and life strategist Valorie Burton.

Valorie burton let go of the guilt